I went for a walk alone this afternoon because the husband (I need to come up with a catchy nickname for him) isnt feeling well. it was so nice and refreshing. the park was buzzing with great energy and I had a smile the whole time. I passed an older couple with a tiny chihuahua who was acting big and tough. they said thats how he is when he wants to meet someone and asked if I minded. of course I said not at all. I let him sniff me and petted him for a minute. he paid no mind the next few times I walked by him.
little things like that puts a huge smile on my face. I love animals (more than people most of the time). moments like that never happened when I sat on my couch drinking. I walked some while drinking, but not often or regularly. but after my walk id run by the liquor store for wine.
I love walking. I love not getting drunk afterwards. I like the way it makes me feel. it gets me out of the house and keeps me busy for a while. when my husband goes I enjoy his company and conversations. I enjoy soaking in my surroundings when im alone. check out this picture I took of the moon while she watched over me:
today makes 28 days sober. four weeks ago I had my last drink. I really cant believe ive made it for almost a month (friday)! holy shit! a whole MONTH sober. that’s never happened. while im kinda proud of myself, im also ashamed that one month is a long time for me to go without alcohol and being drunk. I feel ashamed that I cant drink responsibly and that I completely have to stay away from it because I am so irresponsible with alcohol. maybe one day ill be one of those people who lets everyone know and and loud and proud about sobriety, but for now ill stay anonymous in the shadows in comfort. something about everyone I know (and even dont know) knowing my darkest secrets isnt something I look forward to.
I do look forward to many more sober days. ive always heard it takes 28 days to break a habit. so perhaps ive finally broken that habit. ive only had two real cravings and both times I was easily able to use tools and talk myself out of them. so I know I can do this. I have support, i am making monday womens SMART recovery meetings a priority unless there is a legit emergency, I read in my SMART handbook daily and I have this blog. I love this. and the people I have found through this are great. are there any more of you I out there? what are some of your favorite sober blogs? I would love to follow more sober bloggers. I really am determined to stay sober. ive made it this far so why go and undo all this work I have done? it doesnt make sense does it? but as I know from my past relapse is a real possibility so I must remain vigilant. each day sober is an opportunity for great things to happen and I must remember that.
Sober Goddess 
🙂 ‘Each day sober is an opportunity for great things to happen and I must remember that.’ Yes! Congrats on your 28 days.
Maybe this is an open door in case it is not: if you want to find more sober bloggers you can look up the list of sober bloggers that people have on the side of their ‘homepage’ of their blog. So push the ‘visit’ button. Also you can inform more people out there that you write about alcohol / recovery / SMART when you use tags. Tags can be found left of your post while you write it. You can enter any word you like and press Enter. They will be added to your post. People who search WP can find you easier by a list of subjects.
xx, Feeling
LikeLiked by 1 person