time. it’s something that we as humans are obsessed with. think about how many times a day you check the time? we plan our lives around it. sometimes we feel we don’t have enough. perhaps you feel you have too much time on your hands? we rush to make sure we aren’t late. but do we ever stop and think about what a wonderful gift time is?
first off, none of us are guaranteed time. you could fall over dead before you finish reading this post. knock on wood, i hope that doesn’t happen. how do you feel right now at this time? if you aren’t happy, choose to be. yes, happiness is a choice. are you angry? if so, ask yourself what about the situation is making you angry, and how you can turn that around. are you sad? if so, know that you are loved unconditionally. by me, by the universe, by spirit, by god, by goddess, by a higher power. love is all around. think of why you are sad. now, look for the positive in it? you’re not going to be sad forever, it’s ok to grieve, but instead of wallowing in sadness and self pity, tell yourself something positive. if you always look for the positive, you will start to feel more positive, and that will make you’re whole being feel better. wouldn’t you rather spend your time being happy rather than sad, angry, or jealous? i am a firm believer, and living proof that thoughts create our reality. at the beginning of this year, i made the choice not to think any negative thoughts about myself and others. it was hard at first, and i was constantly stopping myself to turn negative thoughts into positive ones. over time it got easier. even in some of my darkest moments this year, i didn’t beat myself up. of course I’ve had a few slips, i’m human. but 10 months later, i’m happy. this time a year ago, i was the biggest negative nelly ever. nothing was right, i was total shit, a worthless waste of a human who had no purpose and was probably just going to eventually drink herself to death. now i am strong, i have confidence. i believe in myself, IM SOBER, and i love myself because despite my flaws i think i’m pretty fucking awesome. if *I* can change from a self hating negative person to this, then ANYONE can do it.
think about where you choose to work. yes, work IS a choice. many people say “i have to work, i don’t have a choice not to.” of course you do. many of us spend a major part of our time at work because we choose to. we choose to be responsible for our lives, and our families lives if we have a spouse, children, or pets. we could choose NOT work, but the consequences of that choice wouldn’t be too pleasant for most of us. so let me ask you, do you enjoy what you do? does it make you happy? do you get out of bed and look forward to work, or do you dread it and complain? that could add up to a lot of unhappy time. which isn’t good for you or those around you. YOU DESERVE NOTHING BUT COMPLETE HAPPINESS! if you are unhappy at work, start looking for your dream job yesterday. go out there and get it. do something that makes you happy. your energy will change, and your life will change.
time can be a friend, or it can be an enemy. those who are lucky enough to be time efficient and organized, time is their friend. they get their shit done and they do it on time. i’m a procrastinator. i put stuff off until the absolute possible minute. it sucks, but it’s something I’ve never tried to work on. if you are an alcoholic or a drug user, time can be an evil enemy. we spend many hours drunk or high, or looking for ways to get drunk/high. it starts to consume our thoughts constantly. our time is not well spent. i did some math. yes, me, i mathed. so it may not be correct. lmao. i spent about 5-6 hours drunk a night. so i rounded to 5.5 this is just general, there were nights we went out and drank much longer, i’m just basing it on my nightly bottle of wine drinking. anyway. over 7 years, that comes to over 14,000 hours AT LEAST that i have been drunk. holy fuck that’s a LOT of time literally wasted. as of typing this, my sober time thing says i have 658 hours since my last drink. that’s just a few hours compared to what i spent drinking. i’ll never get those 14k hours back.
when we decide we’ve had enough of the drinking/drugs, we are faced with a lot of time on our hands. time that we usually passed being intoxicated. now that we are aware of everything, we aren’t sure what to do with all this time. after many years of using, we feel we become an empty shell of a person. we forget who we once were. we forget the things we enjoyed. faced with all this time and a new start, it can be overwhelming not knowing what to do. we literally have to create ourselves from scratch. we have to rediscover what we loved, or try new things to find something we enjoy. we have to use our time wisely, because if not it can be easy to slip back into old ways of thinking. and if we start thinking about that, we start to do down the path we worked so hard to get off of. i have to use tools if i have a thought of drinking. it not only bring me to the here and now, but also lets me see how time will play out if i choose to act on my thought. i know what will happen. i don’t want to go back to that place. i choose to use my time wisely now, and do things i enjoy in the afternoon instead of guzzling down a bottle of wine.
i hope this makes you think about your time and how you choose to spend it. do you feel you have enough time with loved ones, or do you need to make more time for them? are you making sure you take time for yourself? self care is the most important thing you can do for yourself. you deserve it, and it will make you feel good and happy. even if it’s just a few minutes a day, take the time out for yourself. spend some time doing things you love, or discovering new ideas, get creative and find out what sparks your flame. its your time to shine and live your life in a way that makes every part of your being happy!
“Mama well she told me time is such a wonderful gift, you’re not running out, you’re really running in”
– Trevor Hall, “You Can’t Rush Your Healing
Sober Goddess 